For the Love of Camping
by Tsuki-no-Kurokage
Summary: Matsumoto decides that her captain has had too much stress and bribes Yamamoto into giving him a day off. Hitsugaya gets a surprise when he is forced to spend the night camping in a forest with the substitute shinigami. What'll happen? HitsuIchi


For the Love of Camping

Author's Note: This idea just popped out of nowhere during my CCA. Be warned, for the characters are quite OOC.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything concerning Bleach. If I did, Hinamori would've died by Aizen's hands already. But is she? Noooo…So I don't own Bleach.

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The usual growl of frustration escaped the young white-haired captain's lips as his twitching eyebrows furrowed while he signed paper after paper from the paperwork. The stupid migraine was somewhat distracting him from concentrating on his work. He held onto his forehead with an elbow resting on the desk, his right hand holding onto the brush and dipping it into the ink before making another signature on the paper. Occasionally, he glanced over at the door to the office, expecting his buxom fukutaichou to pop up and lend a helping hand, but the day in which that ever happened would be the day pigs gained wings and flew into outer space. Long story short, it was impossible, _**totally **_impossible, for Matsumoto Rangiku to ever touch a piece of paperwork.

He looked at the stack of paperwork. There was still a lot to be covered, and there was absolutely no way he could ever relax, for tomorrow another stack of paperwork would be awaiting his signatures. Just as Hitsugaya was about bang his head against the desk, the door slid open with a bang and out came his drunken fukutaichou, holding a bottle of sake in her hand. He folded his arms, eyebrow still twitching, and waited patiently for Matsumoto to give a valid reason for being late by four hours. Not like he should be waiting an answer; his fukutaichou slumped over the arm of the sofa with her feet touching the ground, sound asleep. He sighed before standing from his seat, moving towards his insufferable big-busted fukutaichou. She looked like she was having a hangover of some sort; snort. Typical. She must've had gone out drinking with her fellow vice-captains again.

"Oi, Matsumoto…"

**Zzzzz…**

Her loud snoring triggered another twitch from her captain. "Matsumoto, you'd better wake up or else…"

**Zzzzz…**

That's it. He couldn't take it anymore. If she were to snore all day long, there'd be no way he could ever concentrate on his stash of precious paperwork. "Matsumoto!" he exclaimed, not able to control his urge to stomp on her foot.

"Yiiaaaaaaaaaah!!!" Matsumoto screamed in pain, jumping up from her sleeping position in shock. She held onto her stepped-on foot, rubbing her toes. "Taichou, you're so mean…Why must you step on my beautiful toes?"

"Because I will not be able to concentrate on the paperwork which only _**I **_do if you were to snore here all day long," he stated, hiding the anger in his voice. "The division office is for you to report for work, not for you to sleep, Matsumoto!"

"Aw, but still, you should've spared my toes from your wrath, taichou…" Matsumoto moaned, removing the sock off her sore foot and rubbed against the reddened toe. She locked eyes with her captain and noticed the pained scowl on his face. His eyebrow was twitching endlessly. She cocked her head to one side. "Taichou, are you feeling alright?"

"Not when you give me intolerable headaches every day," he growled, rubbing his temples before he went back to his desk to resume with his paperwork.

"You know, you should take a break, taichou. You deserve a well-earned break."

"Why? So that you can go drinking?" he muttered under his breath, his hand still holding onto his heavy head. Why was it burning up?

Matsumoto held up two fingers and winked. "That, and because you're too stressed out, taichou."

"I am _**not **_stressed out."

"Mm-hmm?" she cooed, edging closer to her obviously stressed out captain. She pulled his hand away and touched his forehead. "See, taichou? You're going to work yourself to death if you go on like this. You're already having a slight fever."

Hitsugaya pushed her hand away with a grunt. "So what, Matsumoto? Yamamoto-soutaichou will not grant me a day off just because of some idiotic fever."

"Hmm…Ah! I have a brilliant idea! Wait here, taichou!" Before Hitsugaya could even open his mouth to retort, Matsumoto had already shunpo-ed out of the office. Hitsugaya scowled and resumed with the paperwork. Wherever that piggish vice-captain of his had gone to, she was definitely heading for the bar first before getting so addicted to the sake there and completely forgetting where she was heading to. Ty.Pi.Cal…

**＜ブリーチ＞**

Whatever 'brilliant idea' Matsumoto had up on her sleeves, it was definitely not brilliant at all. Not in Hitsugaya's opinion.

What was that drunk think she was doing?! Going shopping and owing the cashier cash since she spent nearly all her money on sake was one thing…but going shopping in the material world was another. What was completely unbecoming of a fukutaichou like her was the fact that she had personally gone to the 1st Division and requested for the commander-general to give her taichou a day off, even treating the old man to ten bottles of sake if he granted her that request. The bribery was 'genius' in Matsumoto Rangiku's books, but it was 'stupidly daring' in Hitsugaya Toushirou's books. But who would've thought that the old captain actually had a fetish for sake? That was totally unexpected; now Kyouraku had a good reason to drink during captain meetings.

Hitsugaya felt his migraine getting worse and worse with every tiny detail of the merchandise Matsumoto purchased in the material world explained by Matsumoto herself. She picked up something humans called a tent and it just looked like some sort of mattress. She explained it in such great detail that she made the weird item seemingly useful if he was heading to the material world for a day off. He still couldn't catch on what was going on; he knew he was going to the material world, but he had no idea what he was going to do there. He tried sneaking the paperwork into something humans called a camping bag but Matsumoto caught him just in time and threatened that if he were to bring any work with him to the material world, she would personally bribe the soutaichou with ten more bottles of sake to give him one more day off. Hitsugaya frowned and folded his arms as he waited for Matsumoto to finish her explanation of the human merchandise she bought.

"Matsumoto, what the hell is going on here? Why did you suddenly buy all this for me?" Hitsugaya asked, arching an eyebrow.

Matsumoto giggled. "Well, taichou, you know I got a day off for you, right? You'll be spending one day in the material world, and in case you get lost or something, I've contacted Ichigo-kun to help you just in case."

Hitsugaya's eyes widened as he put two and two together. "Wait, you don't…mean…"

"You catch on fast, taichou! That's right, you'll be spending one whole day and one whole night with Ichigo-kun – _**camping!!!**_"

Hitsugaya slumped in his chair and did the unthinkable. He banged his head against the desk until the ink spilled over.

**＜ブリーチ＞**

No. Way. In. The. Depths. Of. Hell. Would. He. Spend. The. Night. With. Kurosaki. Ichigo.

Matsumoto's so-called brilliant idea not only gave him the growls and scowls; he could feel his migraine worsening with every minute instead of getting better. The forest was bursting with disgusting six-legged insects and dangerous wild animals hiding in the forest, ready to pounce on them if the animals ever got the chance coming by. Spending one minute in the forest with Ichigo was already bad enough; he was not going to like the idea of spending one entire day and night in there. He knew he was pissed; he knew his pissed off look was pissed enough to scare Ichigo already. But he couldn't help it, could he? He just hated every single visit he paid to the material world. The gigai was as stiff as hell, dammit.

"Um…Toushirou?"

Hitsugaya shot Ichigo a death glare. "…_**What**_?" he asked, his voice low, waning, cold and to top it all off, dangerous.

"It's like, getting late. We gotta pitch the tents and start a campfire…"

Hitsugaya arched an eyebrow, his glare still in place. Why was the Kurosaki all fidgety today? It wasn't like him, unless he had something up his sleeve like his sneaky lieutenant… "And how do you expect me to be able to pitch something what you humans call a tent and start a fire?"

Ichigo opened his mouth to reply, "I could teach ya, Toushirou."

Hitsugaya snatched the flattened tent. "I'd rather do it myself…" he muttered, proceeding to lay out the ground sheet. Ichigo shrugged it off, even though he was (rather) hurt from Hitsugaya's reply. He watched the genius' attempt to pitch the tent. To be frank, it would normally take Ichigo an hour to pitch a tent, only to have it crumple into flattened sheets at the end. Teaching Hitsugaya might be a bad idea, and perhaps Hitsugaya was better off without any tutorial. Sure enough, Hitsugaya figured out the way to knock the pegs into the soil firmly and tie the fisherman knots to attach the outer and inner sheets to the ground. In no less than forty-five minutes, he pitched his and Ichigo's tents perfectly.

Ichigo gaped. "Whoa…"

"What?" Hitsugaya scowled, still very pissed.

"Nothing, nothing, it's just…" Ichigo changed the subject, "Anyway, we gotta go start the fire now. It's gonna be really dark and cold soon."

"I can handle the cold just fine, Kurosaki."

Hopefully, Hitsugaya's tantrum-like comments would force Ichigo to bring him back to Soul Society where he could indulge in his paperwork, ink slabs and brushes, but on the contrary, the strawberry was just so patient with him. It was completely wrong for an impulsive person like Ichigo. "Ah well, never mind then, Toushirou. Let's sit by the river instead."

"It's Hitsugaya-taichou to you, Kurosaki," Hitsugaya retorted, indirectly taking up Ichigo's offer to sit by the river. Water currents calmed his nerves and soothed him anyway. It was like some kind of miraculous therapy effect, or perhaps it was the unbreakable bond he shared with Hyourinmaru. Ice melts to become water, and water freezes to become ice, after all.

"Careful, Toushirou, it can get really slippery by the banks of the river," Ichigo cautiously warned his camping partner as he settled down slowly, waiting for Hitsugaya to join him.

Hitsugaya resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Ichigo's warning. "Don't be stupid; I won't fall, Kurosakiiiiiiiii!" The elongated mentioning of his family name directed Ichigo's attention to his left. A splash and a large ripple in the river brought him closer to inspect the river. Had Hitsugaya, contrary to what he said in passing, literally fallen into the river?!

"Oi! Toushirou, can ya hear me?" Ichigo shouted out, cupping his hands around his mouth. A tuft of white hair greeted him from the river, followed by an outstretched arm and then Hitsugaya's familiar face appearing from the surface to breathe. Ichigo ran along the banks of the river, careful about slipping on the slippery puddles when Hitsugaya went underwater once more. There was a bright flash of light blue from underwater, but such small details were left unnoticed by Ichigo who thought of it as the reflection of the water. 

Ichigo looked around at his surroundings, hoping that he would be able to find something long enough to pull Hitsugaya up from underwater, and to his luck, he stepped on a long and thick fallen branch from one of the trees in the forest. But to his unluckiness, he stumbled over on the branch and fell into the river. His hand grabbed onto the branch just in time as bits of yucky green moss invited themselves over to stay for a while on his palm. Ichigo swum along the strong and fast water currents with his free hand gripping onto the bank of the river to prevent himself from getting drifted along with the currents. A bush came into view and he grabbed the chance to hold onto the thorny branches of the bush as he stretched out the tree branch he was holding onto to grab the collar of Hitsugaya's shirt. He tilted it upwards and slipped the tip of the branch underneath the collar. Bringing Hitsugaya's unconscious gigai closer and closer to him till he was an half an arm's length away, Ichigo tossed the branch away and slung his arm across Hitsugaya's chest, bringing the prodigy closer to him. Ichigo pulled himself up to the soft and obviously safer grounds and laid Hitsugaya's body in front of him.

"Eh, Toushirou, you awake?" he nudged, poking the prodigy. He stirred no motion. "Oi, don't scare me, Toushirou." Ichigo went closer to Hitsugaya's chest. He remembered bits and pieces of medical knowledge from his experience with helping out his lunatic of a father with the clinic, and applying what he had learnt from the physical experience, he placed his ear against Hitsugaya's left chest area and checked for a heartbeat. There was none. He placed a finger under his nose and confirmed that Hitsugaya was not breathing. "Argh…Dammit, Toushirou. You…you can't just…" Ichigo couldn't bring himself to say the word die. He just couldn't. Sighing, he tried to remember what else he learnt. There was the electrical method which Ichigo never learnt the name of, the splashing water method but that was if the patient was only unconscious and not near-death…What else? What else, dammit?!

Oh. Right. There _**was **_something else! It was…

Kurosaki Ichigo gaped. His eyes darted from Hitsugaya's lips to somewhere else to distract himself. He touched his lips and couldn't help looking at the prodigy's. Of all methods, it just had to be that one. Well, Hitsugaya had better thank him before pummeling him to a pulp if the method worked…Ichigo edged closer to him, beads of sweat trickling down his face. It was his first endeavor on a real person; other times his crazy father trained him by using a dummy. Even then, the disgusting plain taste of plastic and some other disgusting material filled his taste buds and Ichigo didn't touch the dummy for a month. But he never thought that he would have to literally do it on a real person. He didn't know how humans' lips tasted like! He leaned in, and closed his eyes. The profuse perspiration dripped onto Hitsugaya's neck as Ichigo went closer and closer till their noses touched. He braced himself, and placed his lips on top of Hitsugaya's.

On the other side of the river, Hitsugaya Toushirou in spirit form watched, open-eyed. Was that…Kurosaki making out…with his gigai?!

"KUROSAKI!!!! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?!"

Ichigo looked up, and his pupils dilated at the sight of Hitsugaya on the other side of the river. "Toushirou?! But you were just…" his eyes landed on the gigai before looking back at said shinigami captain before looking back at the gigai again. "…Oh."

**＜ブリーチ＞**

Hitsugaya grabbed Ichigo by the collar and bore his piercing emerald eyes into Ichigo's chocolate brown eyes expressing sheepishness and embarrassment. "Bringing me out here to camp is one thing. Kissing my gigai countless of times is _**ANOTHER**_!!! What were you thinking?!"

"I…I thought…you were in your gigai and I couldn't find a heartbeat so…"

Hitsugaya cut him off, his temper getting out of whack. "You idiot!! I can't die in my own gigai! I already _**am **_dead, you blockhead!!!"

Ichigo held up his hands in protest. "Ok, ok, just calm down, Toushirou…I didn't think it through…"

Hitsugaya groaned and released Ichigo from his tight hold. He picked up a few strands of his wet snow white hair and wringed it, a small little gun of water dripping from his hair. "…Why were you kissing my gigai anyway?"

"Huh?"

"Do you humans have this belief that if you kiss a dead body, that person will come back to life or what?" Hitsugaya scowled, trying to get the water out of his let-down hair.

"No no no!" Ichigo protested, forming a 'x' sign with his arms. Hitsugaya could've sworn that there was this reddish pink blush on the idiot's face. "It, it's called mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. I learnt it somewhere from my old man's medical books and he used a dummy for training so…"

Hitsugaya cocked an eyebrow. "It's still kissing, isn't it?"

"It's more of providing the body with oxygen so that the guy can get revived or something like that. I never really trust my old man for things like this, even though he's a doc," Ichigo simply replied, shaking his head to get the water out of his hair as well.

"Hn," Hitsugaya grunted, re-entering his gigai. He stretched some of his stiff muscles and realized that his gigai's hair was very wet as well.

"What exactly happened, Toushirou?"

"Because gigais are so stiffly useless in situations so dire such as before, I had to force myself out of the gigai since I left the soul candy dispenser in the tent. Can't you figure it out yourself, blockhead?" Hitsugaya growled, folding his arms. For some reason, there was this taste of strawberries in his mouth that refused to go away. And…this salty taste which he could not identify… "What the hell did you have for breakfast, Kurosaki? Strawberry sushi?"

"Um…If you're talking about the strawberry taste, it's…normal strawberries," Ichigo sheepishly replied, scratching the back of his head.

"And the salty taste?" He shot Ichigo a quizzical glare.

"…Potato chips. You want some?" Ichigo offered, fishing out a bag of potato chips from his camping bag.

A twitch of the eyebrow and a firm answer, "No." Entering the tent without saying good night, Hitsugaya used his camping bag as a pillow and instantly closed his eyes, forcing himself to sleep and licking his lips while he was at it. Perhaps spending the night with Kurosaki wasn't such a bad idea after all…

At least he was cured of his migraine.

**＜ブリーチ＞**

Matsumoto hid the stash of porn magazines she specially ordered from the material world over ebay in the drawers of the office desk and locked the drawers with a key. Heavy but light-hearted footsteps could be heard along the corridors of the division buildings as Hitsugaya opened the door, a storm cloud literally forming above his head. Matsumoto sweat dropped and gave her captain an uneasy smile. "…Ah, taichou…Y-you're back. How was it?"

Hitsugaya arched an eyebrow at Matsumoto's stuttering but later paid no mind to it, thinking that she was just hiding some of her sake from him. "It was eventful, Matsumoto. Now drop the subject and help me with the paperwork…" Hitsugaya paused as soon as he caught sight of the piles of paperwork on his desk. He inspected a piece of the paperwork for the date. "…all the way from _**TWO DAYS AGO…**_"

"Ah hah hah hah…" Matsumoto chuckled uneasily, walking sideways sneakily to get out of the office. "Well, uh, I was busy with helping Hisagi-kun with his duties so…"

"Oh, so you happily helped other divisions and neglected your own, hnn?" Hitsugaya growled, hiding the tinge of anger and frustration in his voice.

Matsumoto played with her fingers nervously. Well, as long as her captain didn't notice the magazines, she'd be perfectly safe…Yes, yes, very safe… "Well, I only wanted to take a load off Hisagi-kun's mind!"

"And you added another load to mine, Matsumoto!" Hitsugaya snarled, banging his clenched fist on the desk. Sighing, he gave in. He should be relaxing, not getting so pissed off with his subordinates. It'd just be another ticket to the material world with Kurosaki Ichigo again, even though he _**did **_like the strawberry taste… "Never mind. Forget it. Where's the ink slab?"

"In the drawer." Matsumoto realized what she was muttering and closed her mouth immediately.

Hitsugaya tugged at the drawers but they wouldn't budge. "The key, Matsumoto. Give me the key." He stretched out his arm expectantly, but Matsumoto just whistled it off. Hitsugaya noted the profuse sweating. "Give. Me. The. Key. Matsumoto." Matsumoto only stepped back to avoid her captain's wrath. The temperature had already dropped by ten degrees. "Matsumoto, the key."

"Oh, but taichou, you still haven't relaxed. Maybe I should ask Yamamoto-soutaichou to-"

"NOW."

Sighing in defeat, Matsumoto tossed the key over to Hitsugaya who furiously unlocked the drawers. He pulled them open, and things he shouldn't see stepped up and waved hi to him as soon as he opened the drawers. He covered his eyes and kicked the drawers back in. "Well, if there's nothing else, taichou, I'll be off now!"

"MATSUMOTO! YOU GET BACK HERE!"

However, in his rush to close the drawers earlier, one certain magazine slipped out of the drawer and fell onto the ground with a thud. The young feisty dragon chased after his sake-long lieutenant and paid no heed to the magazine that fell out without him knowing it.

On the cover was a certain orange-haired substitute, making out with a certain white-haired captain, endowing him with a kiss like never before. But this time…

Hitsugaya Toushirou was in full shinigami form.

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A/N: Think about leaving our favorite strawberry and our favorite marshmallow together in a forest with a tent side-by-side, and imagine what would happen if they defeated a hollow together in the wee hours of the night. A lot can happen, and Matsumoto just put it to her advantage. I just didn't write about that because…I don't know. I just didn't. XDD

For some reason, a rush of HitsuIchi ideas are flowing in my brain today. Three new ones popped up from nowhere. And now there's a new one. Bah. I'll get on with them when I find the time.

**Reflect the truth of which you see**

**Tsuki-no-Kurokage**


End file.
